Sensemaking is, I believe, a fascinating area of study with useful applications in leadership. It is a retrospective process (Weick, 1995; Hopkinson, 2011) in which people use their prior knowledge and their context to help them make sense of new information. This is turn helps them to build up new mental models. As individuals interpret events in their own way, the prior knowledge available to them is always going to be unique to each person; two people can be in the same room but perceive the scene differently. We use the same mental models over and over again (Beck and Plowman, 2009) so when things happen in a routine, predictable way we can rely on our prior knowledge to help us know what to do; we instinctively make sense of the situation. For example, if a child behaves in a certain way, teachers can call upon their prior experiences to help them handle the situation and be fairly confident that they can predict the outcome.

However, when there is disruption to our thinking that causes our mental models to falter or fail, we feel unsettled (Corley and Gioa, 2004) and that disruption causes us to engage in sense making. We search for anchors located within our prior knowledge, experiences and context to help us understand the new situation. This active process is sensemaking; it results in us making new mental models that fit the new context and it is created by using what we already know to interpret the new information (Holt and Cornelissen, 2014). We make sense of information within the context we are situated (Weick et al, 2005) so understanding the context is key (James et al, 2019). Leaders must situate any change within their reflection and understanding of the context; just because something has worked in one school doesn’t mean it will work in another.

As leaders, we know that organisations have a history and that you cannot separate the two. The history will influence how people make sense of situations (Brown et al, 2015) and it is crucial to be aware of the history before making any alterations to the organisations. It is important to reflect upon the context and to anticipate what disruptions to people’s thinking may be caused by the new information based on their existing mental models. This requires sophisticated thinking by leaders as you are essentially trying to anticipate what colleagues will be using as their anchors to make sense of the disruption to their thinking (Rouleau, 2005) that you are causing. However, if a leader is able to make sense of the position their colleagues are likely to be working from, they can provide some guidance and scaffolds to support their thinking; this would serve to reduce cognitive load and make it easier for them to engage in their own sensemaking. This process is known as sensegiving whereby you construct a framework for others to use for their own sensemaking (Weick, 1995). Interactions are a key aspect of this (Rouleau, 2005) – the language you use to convey new information directly influences the sensemaking of the listener and therefore leaders should be mindful of the language they use.

This all requires a lot of sophisticated thinking by leaders; not only do they have to make sense of situations themselves, they have to consider how their colleagues may react to new ideas, information and initiatives. Leaders have to engage in action but it is crucial that leaders give themselves time to think; sitting still and thinking may feel like inaction but in reality, it is reflecting and thinking that underpins the success of all actions that are taken. Sometimes thinking will lead to nothing being done as sometimes doing nothing is the best course of action. If leaders harness their knowledge of sensemaking then they can be confident they have considered their decisions within their context and that is powerful. Sensemaking can be conscious or unconscious (Rouleau, 2005); we all instinctively do it but having an awareness of sensemaking means leaders can actively engage in it to create/strengthen their mental models. I believe that having an awareness of our internal cognitive systems can help us to develop as thoughtful, sensitive and effective leaders who have a positive impact on outcomes for our students.

I am mindful, however, of the potential limitations of sensemaking theory into practice. Leaders are only human and they will not always have the emotional bandwidth or resilience to think at such a strategic level. Schools are busy organisations and sometimes leaders have to make quick decisions to solve a problem in the fastest way which might not always be the most elegant way. In my experience having an awareness of leadership theory makes me a better leader but when circumstances mean the theory doesn’t pan out in practice, it doesn’t mean I have become a worse leader, it means I am human.

References

• Beck, T. and Plowman, D. (2009). ‘Experiencing Rare and Unusual Events Richly: The Role of Middle Managers in Animating and Guiding Organization Interpretation.’ Organization Science. Vol.20, No.5.
• Brown, A., Colville, I. and Pye, A. (2015).  ‘Making Sense of Sensemaking in Organization Studies.’ Organization Studies. Vol. 36.
• Corley, K. and Gioia, D. (2004). ‘Identity Ambiguity and Change in the Wake of a Corporate Spin-of’. Administrative Science Quarterly. Vol 49.
• Holt, R. and Cornelissen, J. (2014). ‘Sensemaking Revisited.’ Management in Learning. Vol. 45, no. 5.
• Hopkinson, G. (2001). ‘Influence in Marketing Channels: A Sense-Making Investigation.’ Psychology and Marketing. Vol. 18 (5).
• James, C., Connolly, M. and Hawkins, M. (2019). ‘Reconceptualising and Redefining Educational Leadership.’ International Journal of Leadership in Education. w
• Rouleau, L. (2005). ‘Micro-Practices of Strategic Sensemaking and Sensegiving: How Middle Managers Interpret and Sell Change Every Day.’ Journal of Management Studies. Vol. 42 (7).
• Weick, K. (1995). Sensemaking in Organizations. London: Sage.
• Weick, K., Sutcliffe, K. and Obstfeld, D. (2005). ‘Organising and the process of sensemaking.’ Organization Science. Vol. 16. No. 4.

Why is it so much easier to put yourself down than lift yourself up? I know I do it all the time to the extent where that is my default. It is really hard to vocalise positives about yourself for fear of being seen as big-headed, arrogant or cocky yet the negatives flow effortlessly. The trouble is that those public utterances become internalised over time until they feel like the truth. It is then really hard to take that step back and recognise the positives let alone say them out loud; it requires serious amounts of cognitive dissonance and sensemaking to change the mindset that has been constructed over time.

Is the complex relationship between one’s self and one’s sense of worth the reason why there are less women in senior leadership positions yet teaching is a largely female dominated profession? I have been reflecting on this a lot recently. Having reached the point in my career where I am deemed ready to apply for assistant headteacher posts, every time one crops up there are endless conversations about should I or shouldn’t I apply. It is an exhausting conversation and at times I have felt stuck in a Groundhog Day-esque loop!

What I have begun to realise is that my sense of self-worth will only change if I change it. Gretchen Rubin talked in her book “The Happiness Project” about her need for gold stars and it really resonated. I know I thrive on recognition and praise (don’t most people) and that for me, little boosts that come through conversations make a big difference to how I perceive the ability to do my job. However, those gold stars aren’t going to be forthcoming if people aren’t aware of what I’m doing or if I keep telling them about my weaknesses not my strengths. It is a bit of a chicken and egg situation; which came first, the need for gold stars or the lack of confidence? Yet, I had a sudden realisation – why do I need anyone else to give me gold stars? Why not start by acknowledging to myself the good things I have done and boost myself? That is far better. I am independent in all other aspects of my life so why not apply it to this too.

So, I have been trying this out lately and the results are fascinating. It has made me feel like I can point out to other people when I have done something great too and that in turns changes the dynamic. The best bit is that realisation that no one laughs or flinches when I point out a recent success. Letting myself acknowledge my self-worth and building myself up helped me verbalise my achievements which in turn has generated the gold stars that make everything feel better.

In recent weeks I have told my senior leaders how amazing my curriculum is, dazzled them with my data analysis (this demonstrates huge progress!) and made some CPD suggestions that will have a whole school impact. I have yet to mention the fact that I contributed to the book “Chronicles from the Classroom” last summer, that I have been asked to record an episode of the “Becoming Educated” podcast or the results of my leadership research but hey, progress is progress! The funny thing is, the more I am kind to myself, the less I need that reassurance from others.

However, having changed my inner dialogue and sense of self-worth to the point where I can loudly say “I would make a great Assistant Headteacher”, I have realised there is more to it than that.

Knowing what you want

It should be easy now I have had my epiphany about my ability to do the job; the next step should be to find an appealing job advert, apply and keep going until I secure a promotion. Yet, it still isn’t that simple. Just because I now recognise that I could do, now I am wrestling with do I want it. For me, being happy and inspired by what I do are why I come to work and most of the time I still am. I get to teach my beloved French, spend time in the classroom with amazing students, work with colleagues I admire and get on with whilst at the same getting to be involved in whole school CPD and leadership. I have carved out a niche role for myself and I am content. So now the dilemma is how do I find my way out of my comfort zone? Do I need to? Is there anything wrong with staying put? With sticking where I am? With being content?

There is no right answer to that at all but alongside my self-worth realisation, I have realised that the only person who can decide is me and that whatever I decide is totally fine. I feel empowered to wait for the job advert that calls to me. I now know I could do it but the luxury now is being able to wait until I want to.

Thus, when I spy an advert that will let me combine all my passions, I will apply because I will make a great assistant headteacher but for now, I am going to value myself enough to wait. That is what is at the heart of knowing your self-worth I think; knowing it, saying it and acting on it. In the meantime, if anyone spots an advert for a French speaking chief geek who loves all things reading, research, CPD and teaching and learning, let me know!

There is no denying that we are both passionate and motivated by our belief in the power of reading and research to improve our practice. Over the years we have tried to share what we have learned with our colleagues in various guises and in varying levels of formality. Last summer Jenny had the inspired idea that we set up some formal in house leadership development courses to create a sustainable, progressive coherent programme that developed colleagues in a meaningful way whilst developing leadership capacity within school. Many hours of geeking later and the Stepping In and Stepping Up Leadership programmes were born for aspiring and current leaders.

In this blog we reflect upon the journey that lead us to this point and why we felt it was needed from our differing perspectives of middle and senior leadership.

The View from the Middle

When I began my formal leadership journey six years ago I was handed the title and the Faculty and pretty much left to my own devices. That was pretty daunting and led to me taking a two-fold approach; first finding a group of people to seek guidance from and second, hitting the books. Slowly but surely I developed my leadership style and my confidence grew. This ultimately led to the creation of the school’s professional reading group which in turn led me to my MA in Educational Leadership. Studying for my masters opened my eyes to a whole other world; a world where leadership was divided into different types, where it had been researched, where conclusions had been formed and myriad approaches created. I devoured journals that discussed complexity, wicked problems, distributed leadership, transformational leadership etc until my mind was able to make sense of where my own practice lay within all this theory. My own passion found its home within sensemaking and how different leaders make sense in different ways. This has had a huge impact upon my leadership and how I go about my work.

With this in mind, I could totally see the sense in creating the Stepping In and Up programmes; it made sense to help steer aspiring and current leaders towards relevant reading and to help them question, develop, unpick and understand their thinking. Why wouldn’t I use the experiences I had had over the recent years to support my colleagues? I am mindful that we are all individuals and that no two people will experience situations in the same way, after all our interpretations are influenced by our past experiences and who we are. However, by helping people cut through the extensive amount of material out there to find a bank of evidence to engage with, I am helping people to use their time wisely and helping their confidence growing without the many false starts and dead ends I experienced and that to me definitely makes all the time we are spending on these programmes feel like something to be proud of.

Empowering people to feel like they are able to do the best job possible, confidently and without being overwhelmed is really important to me. Every day is a learning day and we are all developing; I can’t ever imagine getting to a point where I know everything there is to know about leadership but by working together to navigate the complexities of the system, we can support each other and achieve the best outcomes for our students. No leader should feel alone, unsure and unable to do the job; they should be given the tools and strategies to be the best leader they can be and by channelling my passion for reading and research alongside my own experiences, I hope I am doing just that for my colleagues. And entirely selfishly, I am loving being surrounded by a community of fellow leaders with whom I can discuss what I have read and what that might mean for my practice; I feel like I am helping to create a sustainable community of development and that makes me very happy, I feel like I am making an impact at the very heart of the school by changing the way we look at what we do, right down to how people see themselves and how they approach what they do. Ultimately this impacts on outcomes for students and that is a really good feeling.

The View from a Senior Leader perspective

A great sportsman will not always make a great captain; Kevin Pietersen may be good example of this. Likewise, a great teacher will not always make a great leader yet how many times have we seen ‘outstanding’ teachers rewarded with being given Head of Department or Faculty Leader. This is often done under the presumption that because they were outstanding teachers they will automatically be good leaders. But they didn’t just wake up good teachers they trained, they received ongoing CPD, they mastered the art of teaching, they will almost certainly have had a passion for their subject. As in Jude’s case these teachers are often true professionals and of their own accord will read about good leadership, they will grow into the role and they will become the leaders the school needs. But what happens in the meantime… teams can stagnate, the departments pause and fail to move forwards, and most importantly students in those lessons may not get the educational experience they deserve. 

Now just to backtrack slightly I am not saying that ‘outstanding’ teachers shouldn’t be rewarded with these posts nor am I saying that these teachers won’t make good leaders just that they need some investment. I was lucky when I stepped up to my Faculty Director’s post a number of years ago, I was in a school that had the infrastructure and money to put me through the NPQML and then SL, as well as providing and supporting my completion of a Masters, these things revolutionised how I approached my role as a leader. However, this isn’t the reality of all schools and looking at how we can support the staff that have leadership roles as well as prepare those staff that we already see as the leaders of the future is critical.  

Luckily the Head at my school agreed and hence the Stepping Up Effective Middle Leaders and Stepping Up Aspiring Senior Leaders programmes were born.

Ensuring these programmes were robust and fit for purpose was crucial and they have taken some time to design. The introductory unit in the Stepping Up programmes is ‘Designing an Informed Project’ and this too was where I started. Reflection was important, it was vital that the right people with the right knowledge wrote and developed these. I had my design thinking hat on and having already established an understanding of the need it was time to ideate, something done far better when done collaboratively, I knew I needed a colleague who shared a passion for professional development and that had the expertise and commitment to help develop these programmes. Jude’s absolute love of educational literature, her work with the TDT and in school responsibilities in professional development supported my love of a powerful podcast and my experience delivering and marking of NPQs. I was confident we had the right mix of experience and knowledge and set about with our prototype. There is no disputing that having a senior leader and middle leader developing a programme from two perspectives has also prompted many interesting conversations and many versions later we are confident that we have designed programmes that provide the training, support and platform for staff in the school to grow as leaders.

A reinforcement of the need and desire for staff to have this support was shown in the number of staff that attended the launch event and were keen to ask questions. This also highlighted how another layer was needed, for those staff that don’t have responsibility yet but already show attributes of leadership, they maybe don’t understand the differing facets of school leadership but are keen to learn. This saw the introduction of the Stepping In programme.

So, who gains? This is obviously a professional development programme so all staff on the programme will benefit from the increased knowledge and exposure to school leadership and I believe that being part of this network is the true power of these programmes. I have a strong belief that having these communities of practice benefits everyone in the school (this is probably another blog in itself). It helps create a culture of school improvement, it creates teams within the school that are committed to developing and learning. I hope that through sharing the projects completed on these programmes it will reinforce across the school that that working together to share knowledge, being innovative and using research to help inform practice has an impact on teacher’s development but perhaps more importantly on pupil progress and attainment as well as overall engagement within lessons and across the school.

I can’t underplay what I have gained throughout this process; the reminder that staff at all levels and stages of their career want to improve, I am surrounded by professionals who are committed to be better. There is so much on twitter about teachers leaving the profession to find a better work life balance and whilst this is a true picture for many people there is also the reality that so many professionals keep ‘Stepping Up’ and keep making a difference to students’ lives. As a senior leader my role is to make it easier for teachers to teach, to make it easier for them to develop, to raise awareness and look for ways, within the constraints of the system, to provide all staff with professional development opportunities like these programmes. 

As the inevitable discussions began in earnest last week about Teacher Assessed Grades for Year 11 and 13, I was reminded of how important it is in schools to be able to see the bigger picture. It is so easy as a teacher, and even as a middle leader, to get entrenched in your own subject. We are all so passionate about doing the best for our students in our respective fields that it can be incredibly hard to remember to take a step back and see the whole picture. Senior Leaders are constantly having to balance the various elements of the whole picture and I believe that the more of us at different points in the organisation that can see it too, the better the end outcome for everyone will be. Our lives have shrunk further and further in the last year, forcing us to work on a more micro level but I think the time has come for us to zoom out and begin to think on a macro level again.

Like so many of us, I have been working from home most of the week since Christmas. My large classroom full of children was replaced by a make shift home office, my staffroom full of colleagues replaced by the living room and a snoring Labrador and my commute, useful for mulling over ideas, suddenly became 35 steps from one part of the house to the other. My world, as did everyone’s, shrank in a flash. With two teachers in the house, both doing non-stop live lessons and no home office, I have spent the last 8 school weeks delivering lessons from the ping pong table in the basement; quite literally on my own underground. No amount of Google Meets has made me feel connected to the world, in fact, the more this lockdown has gone on, the more I have felt isolated and disconnected despite daily interactions with staff and students. I have been busy juggling the complexities of my Faculty and keeping all those plates spinning and trying hard to keep myself feeling connected to the whole, to the wider school. It has all felt very odd.

But, as we prepare to go back to school tomorrow, I find myself reflecting. It is far too easy to focus on the things I haven’t done in the last 8 weeks; I haven’t mastered jam boards, break out rooms elude me and I still can’t get Year 11 to unmute and talk to me! However, I realise that I have actually achieved quite a lot; I have delivered interactive lessons, I have kept my Faculty moving forwards, I have had lots of meaningful interactions with students and somehow, just about, I am still smiling. However, I have also realised that amidst all this, I have still been able to keep sight of the bigger picture. I wasn’t aware I had successfully managed this until the conversations about TAGs started but as that developed, I realised I could see how my subject fitted into the whole, I could see why suddenly creating an internal exam timetable wasn’t right for the students and I could whole heartedly see why we need to be patient and flexible as we figure this out. I could make sense of the decisions presented to me by senior leaders and I could appreciate that they were juggling a particularly wicked and swampy problem in the best way possible. I am grateful that even in my reduced world, I haven’t lost sight of the bigger picture; seeing it, understanding and making sense of it helps me feel connected to the school community and I think will make the coming months easier.   

Seeing the bigger picture often requires a conscious decision and proactive action. To do it, we have to step back from our micro world and look outwards to the macro. In my case I have had to remind myself to step away from the ping pong table in the basement, look up from the laptop and refocus on everything around me. There have been times when that has felt insurmountable but every time I have done it, I have found I can still see the bigger picture and that makes the challenges facing us seem less daunting. As we think about the systems underpinning TAGs, knowing that we aren’t working on our own as individual subjects leaders is empowering and reassuring. Being part of a whole creates a safe space in which to think and act; so long as you let yourself recognise the bigger picture. None of us will be able to have the perfect fit for our individual subjects, it is impossible as there are too many constraints, but if we focus on getting the big picture right, we can do the best for our students. That has to be worth zooming out for.

This week I was reminded of how much more than a building a school is; it is a community, a safe haven and a place of friendship and family.

A dear friend and colleague died on Friday at 3pm, at home time, finally losing his fight with cancer. He was one of the good guys and his loss will be felt by the whole community but as I rang my friends and colleagues to share the news, I was reminded of how much love and friendship I am surrounded by all the time. At a time of extreme sadness everyone pulled together, offering kind words to each other and everyone volunteered to ring someone else with the news so people found out the right way. We were able to cry together and laugh together as we reminisced about funny times. As we talked about the various practical jokes that had been played on us over the years and the endless array of silly photoshopped photos we’d been subject to (imagine finding pictures of yourself turned into a Mr Potato Head stuck in the staffroom, not me fortunately!), we were able to bring our shared pasts to the fore to remind us that we will get through this.

At this time of sadness and as I think about what has to be faced tomorrow when I go into school, I am comforted by the fact that I do not have to face any of this by myself. School might be a building, but it is so much more than that and for that I am very grateful. I know I am lucky to work in a place where people come first, and everyone looks out for each other. There will be tears, there will be laughter, but we will be okay in the end, our friend’s memory living on in the community he helped to shaped over many years.

So, things I never thought I’d say but, dear friend, thank you for turning R into a potato head, for hacking my email and telling A I fancied him and for disturbing many a lesson with those bloomin’ cats on my screen!  

RIP CP xx

I am a great believer that theory should influence practice and vice versa. It seems futile for the two spheres to be disconnected; what is the value of research that doesn’t change practice and likewise if practice doesn’t engage with research then that seems futile. However, of late I have begun to wonder if I am no longer using theory so much as living it. Bear with me and I will endeavour to explain my thought process about wicked problems using Alice in Wonderland to help me.

Wicked problems are a real thing despite the name often prompting people to think otherwise; it isn’t just me using the word wicked to describe an especially awful problem! They are problems that are defined as having no right or wrong solution, there is often no end to them, they can be messy and complex and finding a best fit way of dealing with the problem can often create another situation that needs dealing with. Furthermore, you tend to only get one shot at resolving a wicked problem and each problem tends to be unique. The name wicked doesn’t mean the problems are evil or horrid but rather that they are complex and challenging.

In education we come across wicked problems all the time. To give an example, think about your budget. It is finite and you have to decide how best to spend it knowing that there isn’t enough to do everything you need to do so you have to make some tough decisions. Those decisions have ripple effects and as a leader you have no choice but to find the best fit way through the options available to you and hope that you pick the route that does least damage. Wicked problems are the ones that often niggle at you, keep you awake at night and can make you worry. They are indicative of how complex schools are; they are complexity theory in action and not necessarily in a good way.

So that is the theoretical background to my thinking, and I bet you’re wondering where I am heading with this. Well, I shall try to explain. As we know, life has been throwing us curveballs in all directions lately.  It has been stressful, emotional and challenging. There have been good days, bad days and quite frankly, scary days. As I was reflecting on what about the current state of affairs was the biggest cause of anxiety, I realised that for me, it is the lack of respite from it. This is where the feeling of living the theory of wicked problems comes in.  

When I am faced with a wicked problem at work it can trickle over into my home life but generally I can close the door to it and take some time away from it thus freeing up the head space to deal with it when I am recharged. I can acknowledge that the situation I am dealing with is a wicked problem and I can accept that there is no right answer, but I can trust in myself that I will find the best way through it. However right now I am starting to understand how Alice must have felt after she fell down the rabbit hole. She landed in Wonderland and whilst things were recognisable enough for her to try to make sense of, everything was out of kilter and it was all very strange. Every decision she made had a ripple effect; should she drink from the bottle labelled “drink me” or not? Would that make her too big or too small? Would she be able to move, or would she get stuck?

Alice couldn’t pause and think of how to tackle each problem; she had to follow that white rabbit and hope for the best. She ran around in circles with the Dodo, went to the Mad Hatter’s tea party and nearly lost her head to the whims of the Queen of Hearts. Fortunately for Alice, she woke up and realised it is all a dream – she got to escape from her surreal situation. We aren’t currently so lucky; we haven’t woken up to find it is all over, we are still very much in our surreal situation.

I think the reason that it feels that theory has become life is because we are so immersed in the wicked problem. It isn’t exclusively a work or a home issue, it is a complex, interconnected situation covering all elements of our existence. There is no opportunity to close the office door and park it until tomorrow, we are living it and that is mighty draining. Working from home means the lines between home and work have become blurred more than ever before making it harder to take those all important steps back to give ourselves time to think about what steps to take to plot our best route through.

So yes, we appear to be living in a wicked problem and experiencing complexity in all its glory. As leaders and human beings all we can do is, I think, acknowledge the unrivalled uniqueness of the current situation and do our best to find our way through. There is no right answer, there will be ripples from every decision we make and currently there is no respite. All we can do is be kind to ourselves and look after those around us. One day we will have our Alice moment and wake up which will give us the time to reflect on our time down the rabbit hole and then dust ourselves off and move on, experiencing wicked problems but no longer living them.

It feels like CPD opportunities have never been so plentiful for teachers. There are seminars, webinars, videos, blogs, courses and master’s plus the huge wealth of knowledge that is available 24/7 via Twitter. I have always embraced CPD; I have taken every opportunity going throughout my career because my love of learning has never left me. However, I have never really had a plan, I just went with the flow, doing things that seemed interesting and that were available. That didn’t matter when there wasn’t so much on offer but now that there is an endless supply, making more considered choices feels essential. It is overwhelming at times and knowing what to opt into and what to ignore can be a challenge. With time being such a scarce commodity, choosing wisely is so important.

Two and a half years ago I made possibly the wisest choice I could ever have made; I would go so far as to call it life changing, a bold claim I know. I applied to do my MA in Educational Leadership and as I reach the end of that journey (6000 words of my dissertation to go!) I have been reflecting on how I came to make that choice and what the implications have been for me. As adverts for virtual university open days keep popping up on Twitter, it feels like an appropriate time to pause and think about how I came to make the decision to apply and what it has meant to me as leader.

There is a long and short version of the story of how I came to apply. I’ll go with the short version; it cuts out the agonising back and forth conversations about why I shouldn’t do it and why I wouldn’t be good enough (notice the imposter syndrome striking hard there!) and gets straight to the point. So, the short version, I read a book, it was interesting, I did some research, I shared this with my colleagues, my Head made a passing comment of “you should apply to do a master’s” and it planted a seed that grew and grew until I couldn’t ignore it anymore. Fate played a part as his comment was made two weeks before the open day at my local university and once I had mentioned all this to my best friend, she offered to treat me to cake if I went for a chat with the course leaders and boom, my fate was sealed. I applied, they offered me a place and so it all began.

In my mind I was going to read some books, meet some interesting people and write some essays; there was no grand masterplan about career progression or financial gain, I just wanted to do something interesting. I hadn’t thought about the impact all of that would have on me or my day to day job as a Faculty Leader. That was naïve to say the least! I can confidently say that I now lead my Faculty. I make conscious, informed, considered decisions that are based on what I have learned. I understand the nuances, the subtleties and the complexities of what I am doing. Prior to my master’s I was doing the best I could, but it was largely based on gut instinct and luck than any informed judgement. Not because I didn’t want to do better but because I didn’t know that there was any other way.

It isn’t just studying educational leadership that has made me a better leader, the theoretical side of it has been interesting, but is the impact on my professional confidence that has been the biggest change. I have changed as a person; I have had the opportunity to discuss educational issues with lots of different people in different settings and that has developed my thinking. Having a greater awareness of issues and myriad viewpoints means that I feel confident that my decisions have a sound rationale and that makes me far more confident at putting my views forward. I have found my voice. I believe (most of the time!) that what I am going to say has value and that it is worth sharing. This confidence has been nurtured by my tutors and my fellow students; having a safe space to develop my voice has been transformational.

I have also discovered a renewed love of writing (hence the blog!) and I have reached a point where I feel able to share my thoughts. Twitter has provided a vehicle for sharing my thoughts with others and I have discovered a community of supportive, engaging and interesting people out there. I still feel like I am new to the whole online world but I am finding my way slowly but surely, thanks again to the confidence developed by studying.

So, how does this link to CPD? I am not advocating everyone sign up for an MA. It is a big decision and it wouldn’t be the right path for everyone. I have shared my story to highlight the value of choosing wisely in this time of abundance. There is so much CPD that pausing and thinking about what it is you are trying to achieve and what professional development you can do that will get you there. For me, I started on a quest to indulge my love of learning and ended up a more confident, self-assured leader who has met some amazing people and been lucky enough to have had the opportunity to share my writing with lots of people via different blogs. I have had my eyes opened to a whole other side of education, academia, and suddenly my world has got bigger and full of more possibilities that I could ever have imagined. Embrace CPD, choose the activity that lights a spark in you and see where it takes you. And should you want to do a master’s, I can recommend a really good course!  

I know I’m not alone in feeling unsettled right now nor am I am the only person reflecting on what our current circumstances mean for the future. Nothing is the same as it was nor will it be for quite some time (or ever for that matter) but the bigger question that keeps jumping to the forefront on my mind is do I want it to be? Do I want to go back to ‘normal’?

I think my normal was pretty standard. I have been a languages teacher since 2004 and a Faculty Leader for the last 5 years. I have also been doing my masters for the last two years. Easy labels – teacher, leader, student – everyone can make sense of those. I have always considered myself lucky; I love my job, I adore my subject, I relish the challenge of leadership and I am thriving on studying. I work full time because that has always made sense. I have always taken on new challenges because I have always wanted to. But now I’ve paused and suddenly that picture looks less clear.

Since lockdown I have had to lead more than ever. I am conscious of the responsibility that comes with leadership; looking after the wellbeing of my colleagues has been (and still is) paramount. Every email that I have sent has been carefully thought out, drafted, re-read, every word chosen with intent; taking time to create a space where people feel safe, structured, supported and able to do their job. I have kept directed work to a minimum and support high (or at least that has been my intent). It feels necessary to take this time with emails now that there is no daily face to face contact, no quick chats to clarify something or to check in, those words in those emails count more than ever. Based on the responses I have been getting from colleagues, it seems to be working. But communication has taken a new twist. As emails have reduced phone calls have increased. Those calls have become precious as we sit together, albeit in different places, and talk through a task or a problem. That connection makes the job easier and the anxiety reduces. As I pause, I ask myself why don’t we do more of that? Why do emails normally fly from dawn until dusk when a quick chat, the human touch makes all the difference?

The answer I suppose is time. That seems to be the recurring answer to lots of my reflections now. It is faster to send an email to six people than to go and see them individually. But is that right? Am I using my limited time resource wisely as a leader? All I know is that I am doing the best I can with the resources and knowledge I currently have. It is the same with online teaching too; it all comes down to time. Time to upskill so I can use the technology, time to create the resources but more importantly, time to have one on one interactions with those students that reach out. Time, suddenly I have more choice than ever about how I use it and that is equal parts exciting and terrifying.

But my biggest lessons from lockdown are about me. I am a teacher, a leader and a student but I am also me; Judith, Jude, a reader, a friend, a daughter, a dog parent. This me isn’t sure I want to go back to normal. I have been doing everything by the book forever; school, sixth form, university, PGCE, job, promotion, masters. There was always a vague driving philosophy, do what makes you happy and do what you enjoy. I applied for promotion not because of the title or the money but because I wanted to do the job; it sounded great and I was right, it is (most of the time!). But now I ask myself, do I want to keep working at the frenetic pace that is normal? Do I want to keep working full time? Do I want to go back to a pace of life where it is often a choice between a drink or going to the toilet? Do I want to work every evening and weekend? That is a long list of big questions to which I am not going to pretend I have the answers.

I have realised that when I am teaching and leading in lockdown, I can do my job and I can be me. That is an exciting realisation but not a long-term solution I know. I am working hard, and it was stressful until I established new norms to structure my working week, but I have become a person again and I like it. I have reclaimed my weekends and evenings. I have started exercising (thanks to Joe Wicks I can now do 19 box press ups in a row*) and surprisingly it is sort of fun. I am reading more than ever. I am being creative. I am cooking and baking. I am also managing to be a better daughter and friend; I have spoken to my mum every day since France (where she lives) went into lockdown ostensibly to stop her going stir crazy but really because it is incredibly nice to have the time for long rambling chats. I have discovered virtual afternoon tea with my besties; admittedly not the same as in person but we’re managing that twice a week compared to the normal once a month so that’s a win in my book. I am relishing going slow and I feel great for it.

So, where does my pausing leave me going forward? Well, I am not going to resign, that much is sure, I love my job too much! I am going to make sure I email less and talk more even if that means doing less in a day; I have a feeling I will achieve more in the long run. I am going to reclaim my weekends by staying later at school on a Friday – I feel the trade off will be worth it.  I am going to remember that I am person first then a teacher, a leader and a student and I will prioritise accordingly. Baby steps I know but I don’t want to go back to normal, I want to go forward to normal and those baby steps will get me there.

* I didn’t know they were called box press ups until my writing partner in crime, Jenny, told me – she is wise! I also now know where my quads are too 😊

This blog focuses on how I manage myself as a middle leader and what I have done to achieve change, peace and productivity.

With ‘some’ pressure from my good friend Jude, chief geek and fellow middle leader, I am stepping into this blog land with open eyes and ears.

At this challenging time, we look to our leaders to guide us on how we support our students in the most effective way. I can’t thank our SLT and IT department enough for getting us off the ground and running. Can’t thank them enough.

As PSHE lead and a PE teacher I find myself needing to take some time to stop and check in with myself. I constantly am in a state of endless mind chatter that feels like it’s mentally pulling me from pillar to post. For example, you should be planning this for A level, well what about booking in that PSHE speaker, there’s a knock at the office door, you need to answer that email about a fixture etc As a middle leader I feel obligated to put my subject first when on the front line as such, which means something else always suffers or gets dropped. This is due to taking work home as there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Which means I don’t go to football training or I skip that catch up with a friend or my relationship takes a back seat, which in short, isn’t good enough is it?

In light of our new learning environment I have been able to take advantage of shifting this mind chatter. I love to exercise and run or cycle regularly. Since Boris has allowed one activity a day, I am pairing this with listening to many podcasts. My regular favourites being “Happy place” by Fearne Cotton and “Going for Gold” from Women’s health. It was a podcast that shone the light on the nature of my job. We can’t hide from it and we can’t change it. I listened to a women who works in an office in London, stating that (in a very flowing calming voice) “you know what guys, if you just need some time out to focus yourself on some work then just say to your team, I’m heading to the break out room, I’ll be back at 2pm.” This stopped me in my tracks. Hello! I can’t do that in teaching! That would go down well mid gymnastics lesson, “Sorry guys I’m just going to focus my work in the break out room, keep your selves busy!” Not happening is it? But then a light came shining through and the theory of how we approach tasks. Here is one for you to think about, are you a:

Grazer – pick up little tasks here and there achieving not a lot

Batcher – batch medium sized tasks to gather and hit out the work,

Zoner – one focus head down in the game.

It made me think how I currently manage my task load. Yes, teaching is a busy profession, yes there is always something to do, but it is what it is right? So instead of battling with yourself, setting out expectations that are truly unrealistic or missing out on what’s important to YOU. Aim to approach tasks in different ways. Some days you need to and can be a zoner. Other days the batch or graze approach suits due to time or more pressing things to do. Adapting how you approach the job is better than battling it.

The key thing is… don’t beat yourself with a stick if you can’t get what you had planned done. Things change. Look for the opportunity in what you have not what you expected to have. Managing the stress I am a middle leader that needs to stop and check in to ensure I don’t allow my mind to be over taken with unhelpful chatter. You should be doing this, you must do that etc I manage this through several techniques such as drop the anchor, a review of the day or mindfulness practice. It’s not good enough to allow your anxieties or expectation to take over your brain space. There are bigger things to attend to.

We must continue to practise these basic things. I feel this will support us to all remember and feel what is important to us. Why plan weeks or months ahead in your life when what is in front of you is all that matters? Taking each day as it comes is so important, not even each day… each hour, each moment. It’s astonishing how things changed so quickly even in a few days in this country. So why waste time on what if? Or I must? Change this to I want to, I will, I would like to. My next moves are, I would like to go for bike ride, and check in on my Nonna who is 92 and such an inspiration to us all. Simple, effective and safe.

Thank you for reading.

Jenna Lepore

Teacher of PE

PSHE Coordinator

The world is a scary and confusing place right now. Everything that we took for granted and everything that we regarded as constant has gone and it has been replaced by fear and uncertainty, everything is unknown. There is no sanctuary; this isn’t about individuals, it is about all of us experiencing this at the same time but in our own way and from our own perspective. I can’t help but think we are living in a unique period of time that will grace the pages of textbooks in the future and to be honest, I really wish we weren’t. I’m sure I’m not alone in that.

When your identity is so linked to your job, when that is no longer there it forces you to pause and reflect; I am a teacher who isn’t teaching and that is uncharted territory. When a crisis like this causes a shift in your identity it is easy to lose sight of yourself (Maitlis & Sonenshein, 2010) and that is hard. Last week I knew how to do my job. I knew how to teach and I knew what the structure of my day would look like. I hadn’t really realised how automated I was in those routines and how hard I would find it if all that was taken away. I assumed it would be easy to create new routines and structures; I felt sure that I would be productive and that I would manage my time wisely. The reality is that without a timetable, I am flitting from job to job in an unsystematic way and it is hard. I am being bombarded with emails and the temptation to just sit and deal with them all day is high. Electronic marking takes way longer than I anticipated and my eyes can only take so much – thank goodness for my glasses! Trying to find concentration for any length of time is hard; my mind keeps wandering to the scary events of the world outside and that distracts me.

So, how to deal with this. I have to accept that normal has temporarily been suspended. That is step one. I have to accept that I am not going to be teaching in the usual way for a while. However, I am still a teacher and even though the interactions I am having with students are now virtual, they are still important, possibly more so than they were last week. Being in the same boat is a great leveller – the interactions take on more meaning, we are all isolated so reaching out and having contact in as normal a way as possible is so important right now. It will keep us connected. Step two established.

I have also realised that this is a time to step up as a leader. My colleagues are looking to me for structure and guidance as they also try to establish new norms. I have no definitive answers for any of this but I can create space to talk, share ideas and try to create order out of uncertainty. I have seen lots of examples of inspiring leadership since this all started. All of the leadership theories I have read about have suddenly become very real but it has further reinforced the point that theory doesn’t fit nicely and neatly into reality. Elements of theories work at different moments depending on context, need and circumstance. I haven’t seen a single leader start at point one of a theory and work their way through it to the final point; they don’t work like that. What I have seen, and what I have tried to emulate, is leadership that focuses on people, on doing the right thing, on tackling this wicked problem (Grint, 2010) in the best way possible whilst doing the least harm. I have seen leaders step up and try to create order out of the unknown, to reassure and to be a beacon of calm in the current situation. I know that both as a middle leader and a teacher, I have been trying to outwardly project calmness and reassurance whilst feeling overwhelmed and anxious on the inside; I am sure I’m not the only one feeling like this. Hats off to any school leader having to make the big decisions right now, they are awe inspiring.

I am fascinated by complexity theory and current times have brought that to the forefront of my mind. If we were experiencing a complicated system right now, we could remove any one part of it, replace it with another and all would continue as normal. But this isn’t complicated, it is complex and it is constantly evolving (Hawkins and James, 2017). Every time we change one element of the system, that has an impact on everything else; the key I think right now is to try to stop everything descending into chaos. The edge of complexity just prior to chaos is an amazingly creative space (Morrison, 2012) so, potentially, harnessing that could be incredibly powerful. I have just watched a colleague deliver a Year 12 lesson via Zoom – that wouldn’t have happened if we hadn’t found ourselves in our current circumstances but it could change the way she teaches moving forwards. We are certainly being forced to swiftly upskill ourselves as teachers which could be a positive from all of this.

So, what is my point in all of this? Normal needs rethinking so for me, sensemaking has come into play; I cannot fall back on my defaults to make sense of this situation so I have to construct new meaning (Weick, 1995). But what I have realised is that it is okay to feel unsettled and uncertain right now. It is okay to have to create space to establish new norms. It is okay to work in a different way and it is okay to change the labels I give to things. I am still a teacher but for now being a leader will be the bigger part of my role. I can steer my Languages Faculty and I can engage in sensegiving (Gioia & Chittipedi, 1991 in Maitlis & Christianson, 2014) to create space for my colleagues to make sense of what is going (Holt & Cornelissen, 2014) and to establish their new norms. That will be helpful for us all moving on through these uncharted waters and as new norms emerge so will a sense of stability and sanctuary.

References

Grint, K. (2010). Leadership: A Very Short Introduction. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Hawkins, M. and James, C. (2017). ‘Developing a perspective on schools as complex, evolving and loosely linking systems’. Educational Management Administration and Leadership. Vol. 46 (5).

Holt, R. and Cornelissen, J. (2014). ‘Sensemaking Revisited.’ Management in Learning. Vol. 45, no. 5.

Maitlis, S. and Christianson, M, (2014). ‘Sensemaking in Organizations: Taking Stock and Moving Forward.’ The Academy of Management Annals. Vol. 8, no. 1.

Maitlis, S. and Sonenshein, S. (2010). ‘Sensemaking in Crisis and Change: Inspiration and Insights from Weick (1998).’ Journal of Management Studies. Vol. 47 (3).

Morrison, K. (2012). School Leadership and Complexity Theory. London: Routledge Falmer.

Weick, K. (1995). Sensemaking in Organisations.  Thousand Oaks: Sage.